Abysmal Valentine
by DJ BLEACH
Summary: Being alone is a terrible feeling. Being alone on Valentine's day is even worse. With a single motion, I ripped the crudely-drawn card in half, letting the wind take it away. All I wish to do now, is to tell Cream...I'm sorry. Oneshot


**Though I'm sure everyone was expecting a new "25 Things You Shouldn't Do" story today, well, I'm not in a very good mood. I've written this story in testament of how I'll be alone on Valentine's day tomorrow. They say the best time to write is when you're feeling emotional. Hopefully they're right. Please enjoy and review...**

**ABYSMAL VALENTINE**

_**"Being Alone is a Terrible Feeling. Being alone on Valentine's Day is even worse..."**_

Nighttime...

Dark and quiet. Silence was the only answer to any question I asked myself. There were many questions I'd consider myself lucky not knowing the answer to, but there was one I asked constantly. And the answer was always the same...

_"Will it happen this year...?"_

Mixed thoughts of the peach and orange object of my desires would always rear their ugly heads inside my head on a day like today. Anytime I even imagined the happy smile, it would send my pulse skyrocketing. The sweetness. The innocence. The same happy look that I saw everyday. Being with it forever was my deepest desire.

Being with it never was what I got...

I remembered crying myself to sleep that night. Months and months of building up the courage, only to be shot down. It was just one question, but my stupid lack of confidence ruined any chance I had...All I wanted was to get ice cream.

Apologies ment nothing after that moment. The words would loop endlessly like a broken record, and become the basis of my nightmares, _"Sorry Tails...I already have a date with Charmy..."_

That one sentence...that one phrase spoken, and my entire world was shattered.

"Who cares?" I told myself at first. Only then did I realize the stages one goes through when being shot down. True, most act like it's nothing, but this was such a heavy blow.

_Denial..._

"It's just one stupid date, I doubt Cream will _actually _like Charmy. He's too energetic for her!"

_Anger..._

"No! This can't be happening! Why would she want to go on a date with _him?! _He's so friggin' hyper and annoying! He makes me wanna squeeze his guts out!"

_Dispair..._

"No...please...I didn't want this to happen..."

I'd become trapped within the last stage of my depression. Sonic had told the others I was just feeling a little down, but that wasn't true. This was much more serious, I was spiraling into _true _madness. Each moment I lived without her was like my own personal hell.

"Idiot!" I screamed in rage at myself, bringing my palm to my forhead as hard as I could, "She could've been yours, but you were too FUCKING NERVOUS just to ask her out! Ahh!"

In my state of burning rage, I almost wished someone would've beat me for being so stupid. Sure, it's normal for a boy to be nervous around a girl he likes, especially around my age, but when it leads to _this_...it can make you feel pretty low.

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It wasn't too late, was it? Had Cream been so tired from her date with Charmy that a call at nine was too late, "Tails, what is it? I'm trying to sleep."

What felt like a million years without hearing her voice, and there I was, clutching the phone with a shakey grip, my voice choking just from the sleepiness in her voice. I tried my best to keep my own tone soothing and professional, "Oh...I didn't mean to wake you. I just wanted to know how your date with Charmy went."

_"This could be my saving chance!" _I thought to myself as I waited for her to respond. Perhaps Charmy had been too obnoxious for Cream like I had predicted? Perhaps she would be so fed up that she would need someone to talk to.

It seems that luck wasn't in my future...,"Oh...To tell you the truth, Tails...it actually went pretty well. Charmy was very nice and he took care of everything. In truth, I'd expected him to be rude and loud like he usually is, but he's really quite the gentleman! I've got another date with him sometime next week."

".....Tails? You still there?"

_"It went...well? No...NOO!!!!" _without even hanging up, I'd already fallen to my knees.

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_"We all ask for love. Wheather we choose to find it is up to us."_ --DJ Bleach

When two people find that spark that binds them together, there's no turning back. Charmy and Cream's case was a fine example. Why hadn't I seen it before? Opposites attract, one a hyper-active, loud-mouthed barrel of energy, the other a calm, quiet ghost of a person.

But I still didn't get it. Cream had never associated with Charmy before, and I've known her for years, what did she see in him?

_"Courage..."_ I thought, _"Willingness to actually TELL her how you feel. Charmy's too optimistic to even care what other's think. But me...I've been trapped within myself all my life. There are secrets that I haven't even told Sonic..."_

No, I wouldn't accept the fact that she was gone yet. There was still hope. I had to do _something _to get her back...no..._anything._

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_"You have to chase love. Choose to follow your gut feeling, it may lead you to your desire."_ --DJ Bleach

Standing at her door, protected by the fat drops of rain under her house's awning, I waited. A few knocks had recived the response, "Coming!" in her usual, bubbly voice.

With the wind of the door swinging open blurring my sight, I had to make sure my eyes were correct to be sure of what I saw.

There he was, that lould ball of energy that I recently loathed to the point of oblivion had answered the door for Cream, apparently being a "gentleman"

I repressed my fury towards him, "Hey Charmy, can I come in?"

"Sure! Come on in." he greeted, that smug little girn of his stretching between his ears. It was infuriating just to look at.

A comforting warmness had filled every inch of the room, apparently from the flickering blaze in the corner. The crackles of the wood splitting took me back to warm summer nights I'd spent with Sonic or Amy. I would've loved to spend a night like that with Cream...

Which reminded me, "Hey Charmy, is Cream here?"

"She's in the shower right now. Man Tails, I've got to say, everything you said about her was true! We're really connecting! I'm thinking that we might officially be boyfriend and girlfriend!" the little bee was ecstatic over the fact he had stole my would-be girlfriend.

I muttered through gritted teeth, "That's...great..._Damn you Charmy._"

"But I gotta tell ya, she can be pretty annoying sometimes." my ears twitched to the bee's voice.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she is a bit whiney, especially with that voice of her's. And she's always obsessed with that little blue thing. "Cheese" she calls it! What a dumb name!" At first, I was absolutely consumed with rage. I wanted to rip Charmy's heart out and shove it down his throat for insulting her in such a way, but then I realized, I could _use this._

"Well, if she's annoying you...why don't you break up?" I reccomended, trying to conceal the hope in my voice.

With a scoff, he said, "Are you nuts?! Sure, our personalities don't match up, but look at that figure! You'd seriously think I'd give that up?! Ha!"

All that hope I'd aquired was erased in the blink of an eye. What was this feeling? It wasn't terror. Was it confusion? No. Just more anger. Dating someone you don't even like just for her body, dashing the hopes of someone _truely _in love with her, that's low...too low.

His screams didn't matter to me, as I could barely hear them over the sounds of my enraged gasps. Everything was emmersed in a shade of red, and not just from the blood. Fury had utterly consumed my mind.

Why do you do this Charmy? Cream is a girl that wants love. She's so happy from the fact that she's gotten her first boyfriend...she really thinks you love her. You don't love her, not the _real _her. You love her shell. But you don't see what is beneath. The small, quiet, shy spirit that I fell in love with. You would've known if you'd grew up with her like I did, but all you could focus on was how hot she looked!

My fist was aching, though I still had one punch left. I threw my fist across Charmy's face with such force, it sent one last little spot of blood shooting out of his mouth. He was still breathing, much to my dismay.

All I can remember after that was hearing her scream...

Anger usually leads to violence. The rage that had overtaken me had left me void of free will. Cream stared down upon the battered mass at my feet, resting in a puddle of it's own blood. She immediately ran to his aid.

_"What have I done?!" _I screamed in my head.

I knelt down to try and apologize, but she backed away, afraid that I would hurt her as well. Every time I inched closer, she would command Cheese to strike me, sending me back.

By the time she began to cry, I realized that I wasn't going to be forgiven anytime soon...

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_"Love is a many splendid thing. It can help us...or it can destroy us..." ---_unknown

I'd never cried so hard, at least not because of myself.

Stupid me, a 300 IQ level and I was still too stupid to realize what I was doing was wrong.

It wasn't love I was after. I merely wanted Cream because I couldn't stand the thought of someone else having her. I believed that whoever she ended up with would mistreat her, not love her. I believed I was perfect for her. But anyone that concieted isn't good for her in the least.

After that night, I spent a lot of time alone in my room. It gave me time to think...

Almost all the relationships you see today aren't based of true love...

True love is when someone understands you, accepts you and your flaws, respects you...

All I see today are couples born of vain minds, filled with nothing but lust and desire...

In this world, your chances of finding someone who _really _loves you are slim...

In this world, finding someone like you is just as unlikely...

In this world, being accepted for who you love is perhaps even more unlikely...

This world feels bottomless...A pit that I continue to fall down forever. With every passing minute, I step down one more rung on the ladder to insanity...

This world isn't fit for love...this feeling is...abysmal...

I should've realized that I would spend that Valentine's day alone...

The brown paper felt crusty in my hands. Years of un-proper storage had left it dry and crumpled. It got lost many times, usually when my room was messy or when I moved. It was a crudely drawn Valentine's card I had made for her when we were little. It said, "I think you are really neat Cream, the way you can fly like I do is amazing. I'm really happy I met you." above a picture I'd drawn of us by a lake.

I had planned to give it to her on Valentine's day, but when I was too nervous to do so, I said I would do it the next year. But I never did, and it stayed that way up until today. I was finally going to give it to her, she wouldn't have cared how badly it was made. I was just a kid...a lonely kid...

When I heard the blaring police sirens outside, I decided to leave these memories behind. It wasn't likely that I would see either Cream or Charmy ever again.

There were so many things I wanted to do. I wanted to tell Cream I loved her, tell Charmy I was sorry, tell myself that I had a chance. But when the police burst through my door, I knew I was doon for.

With a single motion, I ripped the card in half, letting the wind pick it up as it came whistling by. And I didn't even turn to look back as I was taken away...

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Being alone is a terrible feeling. Being alone on Valentine's day is just awful. Why couldn't I have realized that it was Cream's decision of who she loved, not mine?

I believed I was saving her from Charmy, when I really just made things worse.

And now, as I am locked in this prison I call home, each passing minute sending me deeper into madness, all I can do is dream of the things that could've been. Even now, I still wish to someday approach her and say...

_"I'm sorry, Cream. You may belong to Charmy now, but you'll always be...my Abysmal Valentine..."_

_"Love and Lust are two very different things. They can both lead to happiness, but only one will last forever..."--_DJ Bleach.

**ABYSMAL VALENTINE**

**THE END**

**What happend to Charmy, Tails, and Cream? Well readers, the story of love and lust is always left to you to decide. And the outcome realized based off weather you believe in love. Love may exist, but for some, it just wasn't ment to be...please review.**


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